Military Aircraft questionnaire

This was allegedly posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas Website by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humour. The company, of course, does not have a sense of humour, and made the web department take it down immediately.

> Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below.
> Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.
>
> 1.
> [_] Mr.
> [_] Mrs.
> [_] Ms.
> [_] Miss
> [_] Lt.
> [_] Gen.
> [_] Comrade
> [_] Classified
> [_] Other
>
> First Name:
>
> .......................................................
> Initial: ........
> Last Name......................................................
> Password: .............................. (max. 8 char)
> Code Name: ........................................................
> Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: .....................
>
> 2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
> [_] F-14 Tomcat
> [_] F-15 Eagle
> [_] F-16 Falcon
> [_] F-117A Stealth
> [_] Classified
>
> 3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 19......./....... /......
> 4. Serial Number:...............................................
> 5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
> [_] Received as gift / aid package
> [_] Catalogue / showroom
> [_] Independent arms broker
> [_] Mail order
> [_] Discount store
> [_] Government surplus
> [_] Classified
>
> 6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas you
> have just purchased:
> [_] Heard loud noise, looked up
> [_] Store display
> [_] Espionage
> [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
> [_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
> [_] Was attacked by one
>
> 7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced your
> decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
> [_] Style / appearance
> [_] Speed / manoeuvrability
> [_] Price / value
> [_] Comfort / convenience
> [_] Kickback / bribe
> [_] Recommended by salesperson
> [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
> [_] Advanced Weapons Systems
> [_] Backroom politics
> [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
>
> 8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be used:
> [_] North America
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Aircraft carrier
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Europe
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Middle East (not Iraq)
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Africa
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Asia / Far East
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Misc. Third World countries
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Classified
> [_] Iraq
>
> 9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend to
> purchase in the near future:
> [_] Colour TV
> [_] VCR
> [_] ICBM
> [_] Killer Satellite
> [_] CD Player
> [_] Air-to-Air Missiles
> [_] Space Shuttle
> [_] Home Computer
> [_] Nuclear Weapon
>
> 10. How would you describe yourself or your organisation? (Indicate all
> that apply:)
> [_] Communist / Socialist
> [_] Terrorist
> [_] Crazed
> [_] Neutral
> [_] Democratic
> [_] Dictatorship
> [_] Corrupt
> [_] Primitive / Tribal
>
> 11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
> [_] Deficit spending
> [_] Cash
> [_] Suitcases of cocaine
> [_] Oil revenues
> [_] Personal cheque
> [_] Credit card
> [_] Ransom money
> [_] Traveller's cheque
>
> 12. Your occupation:
> [_] Homemaker
> [_] Sales / marketing
> [_] Revolutionary
> [_] Clerical
> [_] Mercenary
> [_] Tyrant
> [_] Middle management
> [_] Eccentric billionaire
> [_] Defence Minister / General
> [_] Retired
> [_] Student
>
> 13. To help us better understand our customers, please indicate the
> interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating
> on a regular basis:
> [_] Golf
> [_] Boating / sailing
> [_] Sabotage
> [_] Running / jogging
> [_] Propaganda / misinformation
> [_] Destabilisation / overthrow
> [_] Default on loans
> [_] Gardening
> [_] Crafts
> [_] Black market / smuggling
> [_] Collectibles / collections
> [_] Watching sports on TV
> [_] Wines
> [_] Interrogation / torture
> [_] Household pets
> [_] Crushing rebellions
> [_] Espionage / reconnaissance
> [_] Fashion clothing
> [_] Border disputes
> [_] Mutually Assured Destruction
>
> Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as
> allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will
> be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!
>
> Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes?
> Please write to: McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION Marketing Department - Military, Aerospace Division
>
> IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is confidential privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive
> persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humour or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is not
> authorised (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this
> warning, it does not have any legal orgrammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this email, although the kelpie next door is living on borrowed
> time, let me tell you. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards, so
> just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft. However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. If
> you have received this email in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites and place it in a warm oven for 40 minutes. Whisk briefly and let it stand for 2 hours before icing.

2 languages only

Here's my thinking on language: everybody can only ever speak 2 languages (unless they are bilingual from childhood).
Your first language is Language Number 1. All other languages are Language Number 2. So, let's say you speak English as your native language, and in high school you learn German and French to a minimal extent, and then in university you begin to seriously study Japanese. My theory holds that when you are struggling to find a Japanese word, you'll also think of a German or French one.

The big dilemma is where do English words learnt as an adult fit in? The answer is, I don't know but it doesn't matter. The theory is general.

Makes you wonder about age of acquisition, and how your brain changes as you grow. Well, I have read a blogger somewhere out in the ether who thinks that he grew up and then around the age of 20 suddenly became a different person - so when he looks back on life, he has distinct feelings of having been a different person. I think a lot of us can relate to that... or is it just time elapsing? My view is that the brain really does change, and that one also changes as a person. But wait you say, what about how we've all seen how some people are just like they "always were", and childhood experiences are so influential later in life? I would say, "What a good question, that requires further research which is why I would like you to give me a grant."

You know, I reckon if I wrapped this idea up in enough jargon, someone might believe I had a point.

Lest we forget

A Lancaster releases a million poppy petals to mark the 60th anniversary of the end of WWII.

Jamie Oliver's new "online" book

I have been getting emails from various people with a word document containing a new Jamie Oliver cookbook. The grapevine has it that someone at the publisher's transferred it to Word when it was ready to go to the printer's, and emailed it to a friend... and its now being emailed all over. I guess we can assume that person will be maybe getting sued, and probably not working in publishing ever again!

I've had a look at it, its very Jamie in tone. Quite good, with lots of nice photos.

I generally don't mind burning CDs and so on, but I do feel a bit sorry for him. How embarrassing.