I hear voices

JASMINE "Islam is a peaceful religion."
ANNA "All religion is bullshit - all fundamentalists are exactly the same."
RUTH "Christians can find no justification for violence, whereas Muslims can."

JASMINE "Well look at George W - he's a Christian..."
RUTH "You call him a Christian? He's acting in the name of his country, and Cheney, the Machiavellian..."
RAMEENA "Hey, there's nothing in the Koran that justifies bombing people, just take a look at this URL..."
RUTH "Nothing in the Bible either"
ANNA "Oh yeah, what about 'an eye for an eye'? And what about 'Kill the infidels'? All organised religion leads inevitably to violence."
JASMINE/RUTH (together) "Not mine!"
ANNA "I prefer Eastern religions. Like Confuscianism. Like Buddhism."
JASMINE "You PREFER the Singhalese nationalists, do you? Holding an AK-47 and smiling at the same time, blaming everything on fate?"
SALLY "Love your neighbour as you love yourself..."
RAMEENA "Be tolerant..."
[GOD] (aside) ("There she goes, mis-quoting me again...")
NOMA "Huh? Who said that? Look, we all have to live here together, so can't we all just try to get along? Pleeeease? The basic tenets are the same..."
ANNA "They're deluded robots! And I don't want to have anything to do with them! And they don't like gays!"
JASMINE/RUTH (together) "No I'm not!"
RUTH "The gay thing is nothing personal, its just an abomination against the Lord, that's all. But its between them, and God. And a Christian would never judge them for it."
NOMA "Oh my God! That is so patronising, would you listen to yourself?!"
RUTH "It seems to me that most of the New Testament is actually about how not to judge, and how not to be a hypocrite..."
JASMINE "The woman of the Book has a point. But its really the Western women's fault. You see, they wear revealing clothes, and this leads the men to having carnal thoughts..."
ANNA "You're up yourself, and you're sexist. You must hate yourself. Muslims and Christians are both sexist. And Buddhists are equally bad, now that I think of it. Its just a war on women, blame every act of violence a man commits on the woman who was the victim of it! And you support that, because it makes you feel more virtuous and righteous in your clothing!"
JASMINE (to RUTH) "They're very rebellious, aren't they? My clothes give me freedom from unwanted attention."
KAREN "Funny kind of freedom...
ANNA "Rebellious? You're the ones waging the wars!
RUTH "I've never been to war in my life, what are you talking about?"
NOMA "And what about Sharia Law? I'm a paid up Amnesty International member, and I heard about a stoning in Nigeria, and..."
JASMINE "They're against Islam. Its not Islam, its cultural."
RUTH "No they're not, look at how they're treating the Israelis! And after what happened in Germany... (tsk tsk)"
KAREN "Actually, you could put forward a pretty compelling argument that the culture stems from the Koran..."
SALLY "Chicken and the egg?"
RUTH "The Bible is the true word of God"
ANNA "Oh here we go..."
NOMA "Amnesty said that stoning was barbaric and medieval..."
ANNA "It is. But they're probably just anti-semitic. All top-down organisations have a narrow in-group which is only acceptable to..."
NOMA (Gasp!) "Don't say that about Amnesty! They're good!"
KAREN "You know, its all about media representation, which controls the planet..."
JASMINE "That's true"
RUTH "Yeah, with all their filthy advertising and worldliness"
KAREN "Huh?
JASMINE "Tell me about it! As if hair spray is going to save us"
RUTH (Roars with laughter) "I know! Hey would like a cup of tea?
JASMINE "Yes please. Actually, I have some excellent baklava we could slice up..., and we could discuss the Jewish lobby"
NOMA "What's baklava? What's the Jewish lobby?"
KAREN "Oh, its this much too sweet middle-eastern sweet. You can get it made from Nutra-sweet in this amazing diet boutique..."
ANNA (ignoring Karen) "Do you have to be a hard-core religious nutter such as yourselves to believe in baklava?"
KAREN "And the Jewish lobby, that's just a term put-about by left-wing anti-semitists, who think that all Jews are rich media moguls"
JASMINE "They're a pack of Zionists who don't care that the Israeli state was stolen from the Palestinians, who have inhabited it since the days of the old testament!"
RUTH "Lord, I lift this baklava up to you..."
SALLY "What do you think?"
JASMINE "Drove them out using their own radio stations...!"
NOMA "I still don't get it..."
RAMEENA "You like pastries, right? And nuts? And you like sweet things, right?"
ANNA "She likes nutters!"
JASMINE "Our Palestinian brothers and sisters..."
KAREN "Whoa, Pan-Arabism, that's a bit 5 mintues ago, isn't it?"
JASMINE "Millions of refugees..."
RUTH "Palestinian and Philistine have the same root."
ESTHER "Precicely!"


You get my point? Me neither. Welcome to my life, thrillseekers.